......................dary!!!
第三季一開始，Ted始終還沒準備好迎接新的生活；
不過當Robin從阿根廷回來，並在身邊帶一個異國帥哥回來時，Ted馬上準備好了！
這集Ted做了什麼蠢事呢？
hint: cocoon, gestate, fly, own wings....
IMDB：
Ted's still not ready to date months after his breakup
with Robin. But when Robin returns to New York with an exotic new boyfriend, he
decides it's time to finally do something adventurous.
---------------------
1)
看影片學英文：https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk8k8_83m9I
Barney知道Ted單身後超興奮，一直要帶他去認識新的人XD
--
[Title : The Year 2030]
Narrator: Kids, there's more than one story of how I met your mother. (Cut to a yellow umbrella floating down a street) You know the short version, the thing with your mom's yellow umbrella. But there's a bigger story. The story of how I became who I had to become before I could meet her. And that story begins here.
[Title : The Year 2007]
[At the wedding of Marshall and Lily - Ted/Barney]
Barney: ...Dary ! Legendary ! Dude, I am so excited that you're single again. We're going to conquer New York City. I already have a girl from work lined up for you. Right boob bigger than the left boob, which some choose to look at as bra half empty. I choose to look at as bra half full.
Ted: I dont' know... Robin and I broke up two weeks ago. I'm... I'm not ready.
Barney: When will you be ready ?
Narrator: It was a good question. (Flashback of Robin and Ted hugging after breaking up) After a big relationship ends, you need some time to recuperate. Robin took a trip to Argentina, and I went through my usual routine. (End Flashback)
[The Apartment - Ted/Barney]
(Ted checking out his beard in a mirror)
Narrator: I grew my breakup beard.
(Barney bursts into the room)
Barney: Ted Mosby, suit up, 'cause here's the plan. There's a Miss Nassau County pageant. We'll pretend to be judges and, yes, our votes are for sale.
Ted: I'm not ready.
(Ted paints a wall. Barney comes in)
Narrator: I repainted the apartment.
Barney: Finish line of a woman 10K. Salty girls on an endorphin high who just want to lie down. Yeah.
Ted: I'm not ready.
--
．Right boob bigger than the left boob, which some choose to look at as bra half empty.
這個哏是從哪裡來的呢？
相信大家都知道，如果桌上有半杯水，樂觀的人會認為：太好了！還有半杯水；悲觀的人會認為：蛤，只剩半杯水。
這在英文就是Is the glass half empty or half full?
由此可見，Barney是樂觀的人(?)
．recuperate：恢復，recover
．pageant：選美比賽
btw，這集的Miss Nassau County(郡) pageant是真的有這場比賽哦XD
．endorphin：內啡肽、腦內嗎啡，可以產生像嗎啡、鴉片劑一樣的快感。
在運動到某個階段後（如跑步）會有Runner's high（跑步者的愉悅感），也就是體內產生endorphin。
2)
看影片學英文：https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk8k8_83m9I#t=65
Ted居然剃掉了他的break up beard準備要和Barney去狂歡了！What happened？
--
[The Bar - Ted/Barney/Marshall/Lily]
Narrator: And the truth is, I was doing really good.
Barney: Female acrobats from Montreal. Super flexible. We're going to get "Cirque de So-Laid". What up ?
Ted: Barney, come on, we've covered this.
Lily: Robin !
(Robin walks up with Gael)
Robin: Hey, guys. I just got in last night. Um, uh, this is Gael.
Gael: Hola.
Ted: Okay, I'm ready.
["How I Met Your Mother", credits]
[The Apartment - Lily/Marshall/Barney/Ted]
(Ted is in the bathroom, where a razor is heard)
Ted: I just can't believe her. (He walks into the room with only his chin shaved) We have this totally amicable split, everything's cool. And she comes back from vacation with THAT guy ? You know what she's doing ? She's trying to win the breakup.
Lily: What do you mean "Win the breakup", old timey inventor.
Marshall: What our 21st president, Chester A. Arthur, is trying to say is that in every breakup there are winners and losers.
Lily: It's not a competition. Now, your 80-day balloon race around the world , that was a competition.
Marshall: That's my wife.
Barney: Of course it's a competition, Lil. How else do you explain... what's his name ?
--
．acrobat：雜技演員
．Montreal：蒙特婁，加拿大魁北克的一個城市，有六成以上的人講法文。
．Cirque de So-Laid(http://goo.gl/ncKlQD)
這其實是改自太陽劇團Cirque du Soleil！
改成Laid是因為get laid這個片語而來的。
．chin：下巴
．amicable split
amicable是友好的、和善的，split是分開
就是和平分手囉！
．old timey inventor
Old timey inventor：出自於《環遊世界八十天(Around the World in Eighty Days)》中的角色：Phileas Fogg。
因為此時Ted的鬍子(http://goo.gl/AMC8sH)很像他：http://www.julesverne.ca/images/imgjvwrp/jvpfffb.gif
所以Lily在取笑XD
．Chester A. Arthur：
切斯特‧艾倫、阿瑟，美國第二十一任總統http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chester_A._Arthur
Ted當時的鬍子也很像XDDDD
3)
看影片學英文：https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk8k8_83m9I#t=164
Ted居然剃掉了他的break up beard準備要和Barney去狂歡了！What happened？
--
[The Apartment]
Ted: (With only a mustache now) What a jerk ? I don't go to your stupid country and try to seduce woman with my sexy accent.
Barney: That's a great point, Persian nightclub owner.
Ted: And, oh, he is a masseuse.
[Flashback to Earlier. They talking at the bar.]
Gael: With a massage everything is connected. I can touch your foot cleanse your kidney. I can touch your earlobe and slow your heartbeat.
Ted: One time I used warm water to make a guy pee. Of course, I didn't make a career out of it.
Gael: Career ? Such an American idea. My career is living. Windsurfing. Making love. Sometimes at the same time.
Barney: How ? How would one do that exactly ? Seriously, don't giggle. Tell me.
[End Flashback]
[The Apartment]
Barney: Not possible. You cannot have sex on a windsurfing board.
Lily: How do you know ?
Barney: Glad you asked Lily. I have crafted a list of every vehicle land-based, aquatic and airborne in which/on which it's possible to have sex. And of those 33 vehicles, I have had sex in/on 31. Windsurfing board, not on the list, not possible. Oh, P.S., in order to hit 33, all I need is bobsled and the Apollo 11 space capsule.
Lily: To get that last one, you'd have to break into the Smithsonian.
Barney: This conversation never happened.
Ted: All right, you're suit up, I bearded down. Let's get out there and win this thing.
Barney: Yes !
Ted: You guys, have fun of your double date.
Lily: Oh, for the hundredth time, I'm sorry, there was a lull.
--
．masseuse：女按摩師，這裡Ted是故意要取笑Gael
．earlobe：耳垂
．windsurfing：風帆(http://goo.gl/scq3Cc)
．bobsled：雪橇
．Smithsonian：史密森尼學會
它們擁有世界最大的博物館系統和研究中心
啊btw，裡面提到Apollo 11目前在National Air and Space Museum，也是Smithsonian的子機構之一。
．lull：催眠
--
然後祝大家Happy Halloween！！！
放上可愛的Alyson和他們家人每年精心的Halloween裝扮>///< 期待今年的 heart emoticon(http://goo.gl/KORvLI)
(所以HIMYM中Lily熱愛costume party根本就是真實人生嘛 ♥)
4)
看影片學英文：https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk8k8_83m9I#t=290
呃，分手之後的Ted與Robin，居然是由Robin說出"I just want to make sure you're okay with this".....
--
[Later at the apartment...]
(Robin and Gael enter)
Narrator: So that night, as Lily and Marshall did their best to hate Gael...
Lily: Hey, Robin. (Looks down) Gael.
Narrator: ...Robin pulled me aside to check in. Now, I'm sure, she meant the best, but she said the worst.
Robin: I just want to make sure you're okay with this.
[The Bar - Ted/Barney]
Ted: "I just want to make sure you're okay with this" ? Damn it ! I can't believe she's the one that gets to say that. She's winning, isn't she ?
Barney: Hum-hum. Not for long. Okay, pep talk. Take a knee. Ted, tonight, we're going to get you someone way hotter than Robin. Okay, Robin's a ten. Fine we'll get you a 12. Or, you know... two sixes. Failing that, four threes. And break glass in case of emergency we'll go the Staten Island, I'll get you 12 ones. Ted, my boy, I'm going to re-teach you... Ah.
(Ted kiss a girl and they stop kissing)
Amy: Amy.
Ted: Ted.
(They are kissing again)
Barney: Barney. Ted, we are back. Up here. Up high. Fivin' it up five-style !
--
．pep talk
精神喊話，通常用在鼓勵大家工作，或比賽之前！
．take a knee(http://goo.gl/krKZWd)
暫停一下。
出自American Football的術語，因為持球者膝蓋著地後就是死球，雙方得再次列陣，不過此時時間不會停止。這個戰術下達有兩種情況：一是上半場快結束，持球方認為時間太少且對方達陣區太遠，會放棄進攻而直接跪地讓時間走完；另則是比賽結束前，領先隊持球也可使用此方式把時間拖完。
啊，想知道美式足球的話，大家也可以去看《光速蒙面俠21》，會很快進入狀況XD
．break glass(http://goo.gl/o5uhHL)
用來指：緊急用的備案，尤其是你所有方法都試過了。
這是從滅火器或緊急按鈕的標語而來，它上面都會寫"Break Glass In Emergency"（如果遇到火災，請打破玻璃來滅火）
．Staten Island
美國紐約的行政區之一，因為非都市，所以這裡Barney提到它是因為他們認為那裡比較落後，因此如果到了那裡，可能只找得到1分的女生。
5)
看影片學英文：https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk8k8_83m9I#t=508
Barney很討厭Ted新認識的女生Amy:p
--
[The Bar - Ted/Amy/Barney/A girl]
Narrator: The night was doing great. Amy was cool and dangerous. She found a friend for Barney. She even paid for drinks... (Amy steals liquor from behind the bar) sort of.
Barney: They know us here ! You're gonna get us in trouble.
Amy: Tell me something. Do you ask your tailor to leave extra room in the crotch for your huge vagina ?
Barney: You... your vagina... Ted, this chick is crazy. We're leaving.
Amy: Good idea. Let's all go back to my place.
Barney: Your place ? Thanks, but no thanks, 1994 Courtney Love.
Amy: I have a hot tub.
[The "Amy's apartment" in the hot tub - Barney/A girl/Ted/Amy]
Barney: Okay, this place is actually pretty nice.
Ted: I like your tatts.
Amy: Thanks. You can play with them if you want. They're a hundred percent real.
Ted: No, your tatts... toos. Your tattoos.
Amy: Oh, thanks. You should get one.
Barney: Wrong. Ted has a classic clean-cut look that never goes out of style season after season, burn.
Amy: Yeah ? Well. I think he would look hot with some ink.
Barney: No, he wouldn't.
Amy: Yes, he would.
Barney: No, he wouldn't.
Amy: Yuh-huh.
Barney: Nuh-uh.
The Girl: I'm ready to do anything you want by the way. Anything. Right now.
Barney: Ted. Who are you gonna side with on this tattoos thing ?
Ted: I think I'd look way hot with some ink.
Amy: Yeah, you would.
Ted: Yeah.
(A kid enters.)
Amy: Oh my God, Tyler ?
Tyler: Mommy ! Daddy ! She's back.
Amy: Damn it ! They're supposed to be in the Hamptons. Run !
--
．crotch：胯下
．1994 Courtney Love （http://goo.gl/OyTvQy）
Courtney Love是美國搖滾音樂家與演員。
我猜這裡會提Courtney Love是因為Amy的外型？
另外，1994又是怎麼一回事？目前不確定。
不過1994年，Courtney Love的先生Kurt Cobain被發現開槍自盡了，當時Kurt Cobain才27歲。
呃，題外話是，有相當多的樂壇天才都相繼死於27歲，因此許多樂迷對於「27俱樂部」議論紛紛，可見：http://zh.wikipedia.org/zh-tw/27俱樂部；或是有書《The 27s: The Greatest Myth of Rock & Roll》。
像有名的Amy Winehouse也是其中的一員。(http://goo.gl/T2Nv6f)
．tatts
tattoos的簡稱。
不過這裡Amy應該以為Ted說的是Tits，也就是胸部，所以她才會說"They're a hundred percent real."
．clean-cut
指外貌清爽、不留鬍子、頭髮梳的整齊……等等類型的人。
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